"Xander?"
The boy looked over. Upon seeing the vampire, Xander's face steeled and his body tensed. "Angel." His voice was clipped and tight.
Angel looked down at his fingers and watched as one picked at the nail of the other. He looked back up, his eyes filled with sadness and concern. "How are you?"
Xander's head turn, looking straight ahead, allowing the vampire to get a better look at the deep purplish bruise that covered most of his cheek and jaw. "I'm really good. My face is very happy to have a little character now."
"Xander..."
"You know if you would've really concentrated and aimed better, I'm sure you could've broken my nose. That would've made me better than really good. I would be fucking fantastic." Xander spoke, trying not to move his jaw too much. It hurt to open his mouth too wide.
Angel's hand moved up, his fingers gently brushing over the bruise. Xander quickly jerked his head away as he batted the vampire's hand away from his face. Moving to the other side of the couch, the boy clenched his teeth and tried to focus of the horrible band playing on the stage in front of him. "Xander, I'm sorry."
"I don't care," Xander said quietly.
"Xander," Angel said again, his voice low and full of emotion. "You know I lov..."
"No."
"What?" "You don't. So don't say it."
Angel moved closer to boy who was trying for all the world to cover up the shaking that was wracking his slender frame. "But I do love you, Xander."
"Yeah, that punch felt like love."
"I was playing a role, Xander. I didn't..."
"Mean it?" Xander finally looked at the vampire. "So I guess I shouldn't hold you accountable because you didn't mean it."
Angel picked up that it wasn't a question. It was more of an accusation. "I was playing a role, Xander," he repeated.
"Yeah, thanks, by the way, for letting me know about it. I appreciate it."
"Xander, I wanted to. Please believe me. I wanted to tell you, but Buffy..."
"Buffy," Xander nearly laughed. "It's always about her with you. You know, everyone used to say that I was hung up on her." Xander shook his head. "But you. You live and breathe her, don't you?"
"Xander," Angel tried again.
"I bet you fucked Faith too." Angel didn't reply, giving Xander all the answer he needed. "Did you have a nice come? Did you moan the same way with her as you do with me?" he asked, venom dripping from his voice. "You know, I have stupidity to blame the mistake of sleeping with her on. What's yours? Buffy?"
"I had to."
"You had to," Xander repeated, his eyes moving back to the band. "Just like you had to hit me."
"Xander," Angel said in the most pitiful voice Xander had ever heard. "I love you." The vampire reached out. His hands moved on top of his lover's.
Xander quickly got up, pulling his hands roughly from Angel's. Looking down at Angel with hard eyes and seeing the vampire look up at him with such sadness, Xander felt his heart tighten. "Angel," he started quietly, then continued speaking a little louder. "I don't love you." He shook his head. "I have absolutely no idea why I was ever with you to begin with." Angel began to speak, but Xander stopped him. "You have proven without a doubt as to where your priorities and your loyalty lie. And I'm very low on the list, it seems."
Angel shook his head, trying to deny the words Xander spoke, but the boy ignored him. "I don't want anything to do with you. You're nothing to me." Turning on his heel, Xander began to move away from the vampire, trying to forget about the love he still felt for him.
Angel sank back onto the couch, too shocked to get up and run after his love. Instead, he just watched Xander walk away, carrying with him the vampire's crushed heart.
End
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