Goodbye

By Nicollette Marquis McFadgen


Notes: The Power of Good-bye is Madonna's off her Ray of Light album. Yep. I wrote another songfic. *shruggs* what can I say? I don't use all the lyrics ('cause I'm a picky bitch) and the song doesn't always go with this fic, but the words fit this couple completely, so I wanted to use the song. This hasn't be beta read.
For those of you who know me, be prepared for your jaw to drop. I can't explain it. It just happened. Yep, I wrote a Buffy/Angel fic...Go fig...


Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

"I have to go."

"I know."

"Listen, I..."

Buffy smiled. "I know that too." Grabbing the vampire's hand, she continued. "I love you, Angel. That hasn't changed. That will never change."

Shaking his head, Angel pulled her small body to his, enveloping her with his strong arms. "I don't think you know how much I love you, but you shouldn't love me back."

Buffy looked up at him in shock, trying to push back from him. "What?" He held her tight. "How can you..."


You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long

"Buffy, we may love each other and we may have been made for each other, but we're not right. You shouldn't love me. I'm an abomination. I'm a fallen soul."

"What are you talking about? How can you say that?" Buffy managed to struggle out of Angel's hold. "If you're an abomination, then so am I."

"No," he said firmly as he grasped her shoulders tightly. "You are the Slayer. You are what's good in the world. You're pure; not like me."

Buffy shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. "You're wrong. If there's one thing you've taught me it is that there is goodness and purity in everything, in everyone. You think because your heart no longer beats that you are not worthy?" Once again struggling from his hold, Buffy backed away. "You are what's good in *my* world."

"Buffy, I..."

"No," she stopped him, her eyes downcast. It was too painful to look at thing she wanted most in this world but could never have. "You are the only thing that has made sense to me, Angel. You are the only one who can understand."

"I've only known you for three years, Buffy, and can't count the number of times that I've hurt you."


There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

Her head flicked up and she no longer cared to hold in her tears. "And how many times have I hurt you? I sent you to Hell, for Christ's sake."

"And I killed and terrorized your friends, played with your mind and tore your heart."

Buffy shook her head. "That *wasn't* you."

Stepping forward, Angel cupped her tear-streaked cheek with his callused hand. "But it was me, Buffy. You think that Angel and Angelus are two different beings with two different minds, but they're both me. It was my hands that snapped Jenny Calendar's neck. It was my words that taunted you night after night. It was my mind that screamed out in pleasure when I saw you hurting."

"It was your soul, your mind, and your body that made love to me that night." Buffy looked up at Angel defiantly. "You haven't hurt me anymore than I've hurt you." After a moment, Buffy pressed herself to him, her tears soaking his shirt. "You're mine, Angel. There is nothing that can change my heart. I love you, no matter how much you don't want me to."

Wrapping his arms around the Slayer's small frame, Angel whispered, "Buffy."


There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

After a long silent moment, she pulled back. "You have to go."

Nodding with sadness, Angel's hands encompassed hers. "I know."

"I love you, Angel," Buffy said vehemently. "I don't know how much longer I have to live, but I'm going to spend the rest of my life loving you. Just because we aren't together, doesn't mean that my love will go away."

"There's so much that I want to say to you right now."

Looking into her eternal love's glistening eyes, Buffy nodded. "I know." A genuine smile crept onto her face. "But you don't have to say anything. My heart knows."

Angel stood still as her small hands slipped out of his. He watched as she backed away, still smiling that special smile that was only for him. He watched as she turned and walked away.

"I love you so much, Buffy," he whispered. As if she heard him, she turned back around, blew him a kiss then continued walking away from him.

Her heart heard his.

~**~

End.

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