The One He Loved

By Nicollette Marquis McFadgen


Timeline: Takes place after Lover's Walk but before Amends
Notes: I'm not a Willow/Xander 'shipper and I don't play one on TV. But I made this promise... Does everyone know that 'snuck' isn't a word...it's sneaked. Do I just use bad English or what? (Or should that be: I be usin' some bad English, huh?)
For: Teri, lover of all things W/X. May you see this smutfic and look upon me in kindness. I will have you know that this was difficult to write. All props to me. That's right.

Xander had been staring up at the stars for the past half-hour, trying to forget about the fight he had had with Willow only hours earlier. He had thought that this campout would be a good thing for them. Maybe they could even renew their friendship. But Xander had only managed to make Willow angry with him again. He had made the mistake of bringing up the fluke. That had set her off.

His eyes began to sag and his vision blurred. He finally fell asleep, only to be awakened by Willow. "Wha...?" She turned off the flashlight and silently slipped into his sleeping bag, just as she had done when they were kids. "Will?"

She lay on her side, facing away from him, but her hand took his and moved it so that he was holding her. "I don't want to fight any more."

"Me either. I'm sorry about upsetting you before."

"You didn't upset me. I upset me. The fluke happened and I just have to deal with it now." She shivered as he pulled her body back against his.

She could feel the warmth of his breath on her ear when he spoke. "I wish things were different."

"How so?"

"Well, I wish that I have seen you before you were with Oz. I wish that we had never fluked. Or I wish that we had fluked then broken up with Cordy and Oz, then fluked some more." He sighed. "Mostly, I just wish that we were close again."

Pressing back against him, Willow allowed herself to smile a little. "We're pretty close right now, Xander."

His arms tightened around her. "I meant friendship wise, Willow. I miss you. I have no one to call at night any more."

"I miss you too, Xander."

Raising his head and tilting it, Xander pressed his lips against her temple. "Remember in the fourth grade when we camped out?"

She smiled. "Yeah. It was Jesse's birthday and he had gotten all that camping equipment."

"After he fell asleep, you sneaked over to me and crawled inside my sleeping back. Why did you do that?"

"I didn't want to tell Jesse; he would've made fun of me. I was scared. That was my first time sleeping outdoors."

"And why'd you slip into my sleeping bag tonight, Willow?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Because I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Losing you."

Xander let out his breath and then pressed his lips against her temple again. Instead of ending the kiss, he left his lips there, mumbling against her skin. "God, I love you, Willow."

Willow's breathing caught in her throat. Her head turned and she moved onto her back, letting his hand move from her side to her stomach. "I love you too."

His lips pressed against her cheek. Willow shifted again, her lips now actively seeking his. When they met, she felt heat rise within her. Aggressively her tongue plummeted his mouth. Before she knew it, she was on top of him, her mouth still attached to his.

His hands found her hips as her hands moved under his T-shirt. She splayed her hands on his chest as he pushed her shirt up. His cock hardened when he felt her bare breast against him; she wasn't wearing a bra.

Xander lifted his head, his mouth capturing her nipple. She gasped as his tongue swirled around the sensitive bud. "Xander..." Her hips rocked against his and she felt his erection straining through his sweat pants. Willow tore her breast from his mouth and kissed him almost violently. She began to move rhythmically on Xander, instinctively grinding her clit against him.

Willow removed her shirt, then nearly ripped his, trying to get it off. She pressed their bare skin together. "Willow..." he choked out as his hand moved between her legs. He could feel her damp heat through her sweat pants. Willow pressed herself down onto his hand and moaned. "Willow," he said again, trying to concentrate long enough to get out a sentence. "I-I don't have a condom."

"Don't care," she panted as she lifted her hips from his and slid her pants and panties off. As she tried to remove his pants, Xander just laid still, not helping. "Xander, please?"

The quiet desperation in her voice made him lift his hips. Once again, his hands returned to her waist. The moment his cock sprung free, he positioned her over it. He became slightly dizzy as he felt her heat press against the head of his cock. "You sure?"

"Yes," she said, drawing out the word as she lowered herself down. She stopped for a moment when she felt his cock nudge against her barrier. Taking a deep breath, she slammed herself down. As her membrane broke, she bit her lip and whimpered quietly.

"Willow?"

Her eyes opened, letting a few tears loose. "I'm okay," she said with a shaky voice. "I just need a minute." Xander wasn't sure if he could wait a minute. All he wanted to do was begin to thrust up into her tightness. "I don't want to be on top," Willow said quietly after a moment.

Carefully, Xander rolled them over. As she wrapped her legs around his waist, he couldn't help but notice how nice it felt to be this close to Willow; to be inside of her. "Willow? Are you okay?" She nodded. Xander began to move his hips. Slowly, he pulled them back until only the tip remained in her, then he slowly pushed back in. In time, Xander's pace quickened and she began to move with him. Each time he would thrust, she would push herself up, smashing her clit against him.

"Oh, Willow," he breathed. She just moaned in return.

Willow began to moan longer and louder as she neared her very first orgasm. She latched her mouth on Xander's neck as her arms and legs tensed around him. Her eyes closed and she cried out against the soft skin of Xander's neck as her climax hit.

Xander felt Willow's body tense as her inner muscles clamped down tightly on his pulsing cock. With one last powerful thrust, he came, spilling himself deep within his dearest friend. "Fuck," he cried, in between gasps of breath. His strength gone, he collapsed on Willow, laying his head between her breasts.

Once his head had stopped spinning and he felt like he could move again, Xander pulled his softening cock from her and lay down beside her. "Will? You okay?" he asked as he brushed a clump of damp hair from her forehead.

"Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh, God." She turned onto her side, her eyes locking with his. "That was... I can't... Thank you."

He smiled. "Thank you."

Wrapping his arms around her once more, Xander began to feel the fatigue set in. His eyes drooped closed and his breathing hallowed and soon, he was asleep, nestled against the one he loved.

End

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