Sharing Probs

By Queena

Giles looked up from the book he was reading, when he heard a hesitant knock at his door. Setting down the book and his cup of tea, Giles headed to the door. Since this was Sunnydale, he cautiously opened the little peep-door and looked out to see Xander. Xander looked back in at him and gave a huge, goofy grin. "Hey, Giles!" he greeted with a little too much enthusiasm.

Giles shut the peep-door and unlocked his door to open it. "Xander, do you have any idea how late it is?" Giles asked. He tried to sound reprimanding, but it was so hard when Xander was smiling at him like that. Quickly, Giles' thoughts went back to earlier that night in the library. He wondered if maybe that was the reason the boy was now standing in his doorway, waiting to be invited in.

Giles stepped aside and Xander quickly entered, allowing Giles to close the door. "What brings you here, Xander?" Giles asked, pushing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, I didn't know I needed an excuse to come visit my good, ol' buddy, Giles," Xander said with a nervous laugh.

Giles tilted his head to the side. Something was wrong, he knew it. Now, all he had to do was get Xander to tell him about it. "Sit down, Xander," he told the boy. Xander smiled and plopped down on the couch, "Thought you'd never ask, G-man."

Giles clucked his tongue when he heard the hated nickname the boy used for him. He decided not to say anything about it this time, though. Careful to keep a distance between them, Giles sat on the opposite end of his couch from the boy. When he turned back to Xander, he saw him looking around his
apartment with fake interest, no doubt trying to avoid eye contact with him.

They just sat in silence for a moment. Giles was too busy reflecting on the past few months. He could admit that his affections for the boy had grown in that time, probably more than they should have. It was that new, sad look that Giles could see in Xander's big, brown eyes that was drawing him to the boy. He'd changed a lot since Cordelia and he had broken up, he had tried to hide it, but Giles was far too perceptive to not notice. He continued to crack his jokes, but there didn't seem any real humor behind them.

"Xander, do you want to tell me why you came here?" Giles asked in a low voice.

Xander's lower lip trembled for a minute, before he again smiled widely. "Oh, I don't know, I was in the neighborhood," he answered. His eyes met with Giles' briefly before turning away again.

"Xander," Giles prodded, watching all of the emotions playing out before him.

The smile on Xander's face quickly faded. "I..." his voice was low, almost inaudible. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."

That one small sentence made Giles' heart constrict with pain for Xander. Giles had known that his home life was less than favorable he just didn't know to what extent it went. "You had a fight with your parents." It was more of a statement than a question.

Xander looked down in his lap, at a loss for words, which was odd for him. He usually had some witticism to throw into any conversation. He never had one for his family. Against his better judgment, Giles scooted closer to the boy. "Xander, if you need to talk you know that I'm here for you," Giles said and put his hand on Xander's shoulder comfortingly.

Xander winced and pulled away from Giles' hand, automatically cursing himself. When Giles saw Xander's face scrunch up in pain, he felt a rush of concern. "Are you hurt?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"It's nothing," Xander said, moving off of the couch to stand nervously at the end of the it.

"Xander, take off your shirt," Giles ordered, also standing up.

"I said it's nothing," Xander said, looking up at the former Watcher with fire in his eyes.

"If it's nothing then you shouldn't have any problems with it. Take. Off. Your. Shirt.," Giles said, excentuating each word so that there would be no further argument.

Xander just stared at Giles for a moment. When he saw that there was no arguing with him, he slowly pulled off his shirt. He winced when the fabric brushed against a rather deep bruise on his back. After he had the shirt off, he heard Giles' breath catch. He was covered in black and blue bruises. There were also some old ones that had turned an ugly shade of brown. Giles took a small step towards him, but stopped when Xander backed away.

"Xander, please let me see," Giles said in a hushed tone.

"Can't you see them from there? They are kind of hard to miss," Xander said bitterly.

Steeling himself against the dark look in Xander's eyes, Giles moved forward again, this time a bit quicker. Xander again tried to evade him, but Giles stopped him with a pleading look. The first bruise he inspected was the one that he had touched, the one on his shoulder. In had taken the form of a small square. He guessed that it had been made by a belt buckle.

He could feel the tears of compassion welling up in his eyes as he circled Xander, carefully inspecting each bruise. When he stopped in front of the boy again, he tried to speak, but he couldn't think of the words. Tentatively, he reached out and brushed his fingertips across a bruise on his ribcage. He quickly snatched his hand away, when he felt a shudder of pleasure run through him at the contact of the boy's warm skin.

When Giles looked up into his eyes, Xander was surprised to see unshed tears shining in the man's eyes. Every emotion that he had been feeling for Giles in the past months washed over him. The compassion, the kinship, and most of all the lust. The lust that had made him feel dirty before, but felt so right at this moment. Without another thought, (thinking was bad) Xander leaned forward and pressed his lips against the other man's. He heard Giles gasp in shock, but he didn't pull away. Slowly, they started moving their lips together, soft at first and then more firmly.

When Xander's tongue moved over his lips, Giles realized what was happening and pulled away. He thought he'd die from the hurt he saw in Xander's eyes. Before Xander mistook him, he wrapped his arms loosely around him in a hug, careful not to put any pressure on his bruises.

He began in a quiet voice. "Xander, I want to help you and I want to be here for you, but not that way. Not now. I have to know that it's really what you want."

"Giles, it---" Xander began to protest, but was hushed by Giles' finger over his lips. Taking his hands into his, Giles led Xander back over to the couch.

"For right now, Xander, you just have to trust me. Confide in me. Tell me what
happened."

Finally, Giles heard Xander�s breath start to even out. It was almost five- thirty in the morning and he and Xander had been up all night. Giles slowly slipped from under Xander, careful not to jar him. He urged Xander to lay out on the couch. It took a little cajoling, but Xander sleepily complied.

He gave Xander one loving glance before going to the bathroom linen closet to get Xander a blanket. Going back into the living room, Giles covered the sleeping boy. He was about to head up to bed himself, but something stopped him. The urge to just watch Xander for a few moments, to watch him sleep.

He kneeled down before the couch and just stared contentedly at Xander�s face. He looked so peaceful, almost as if he had no worries. Giles thanked the Gods that he had no nightmares, at least he had dreamland to retreat.

Earlier that night, while Xander was shamefully crying on Giles� shoulder, he had described himself as weak. Giles thought, as he sat watching him, that Xander couldn�t have been more wrong. Xander tried so hard to not let his life effect him, a lot of men his age would have given up a long time ago.

Giles thought back to the kiss they had shared at the beginning of the night. It was so hard to pull away from that kiss. It shocked the hell out of Giles. He was still reeling from seeing the bruises that, when Xander kissed him, Giles could have had a heart attack. Xander had always been so firmly attached to the idea of being heterosexual, that Giles thought it would take a lot longer than it had for him to come out to himself. Actually, now that he thought about it, Giles figured that Xander still hadn�t come out to himself. Kiss or no kiss.

Sighing, Giles leaned forward and brushed a stray curl off of Xander�s forehead. Twitching a bit, Xander reached up to bat his hand away. Then he sunk even further back into the couch.

Giles chuckled at this and stood to go up to his room. He stretched a bit, but groaned when he felt his back crack loudly. He hated getting old, especially considering his line of work or lack of same.

Sparing one last look at Xander, Giles headed for the stairs and to his
bedroom. He decided he would tell Xander the suggestion he had in the morning.

The End

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