Shudder

By Nicollette Marquis McFadgen


Notes: Those of you who know me will understand the title in relation to this fic. Yes, I'm evil and it's not really my fault (Xander speaks to me and refuses to shut up). This is a future fic, which takes place like three years after the Scooby Gang's graduation.

Xander awoke at three in the morning by someone pounding on his front door. Grumbling, he closed his eyes again in the hopes that whoever was there would go away. No such luck. Saying a few four letter words under his breath, Xander kicked off the covers and moved slowly off of his bed.

Making his way to the living room of his small one bedroom apartment, Xander's eyes were still closed. He only opened them when he tripped over his Nintendo controller.

"Xander! Open up!"

He finally made it to the door and opened it, not caring that the only thing that covered him were his boxers. He squinted at light in the hall. "Buffy?"

The slayer was bouncing nervously. "Can I come in?"

Xander opened the door wider and ushered her in. "Sure. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why does anything have to be wrong? Can't I just come over and see my good friend Xander without there being anything wrong."

"Typically, no." Xander shut the door and moved to stand next to the blonde. "Not to mention the fact that it's three A.M."

"Can I sit?" she asked, pointing to the couch.

Xander furrowed his brow. "Um, of course you can. Why are you asking?"

"Just being polite?" Buffy sat down. Her legs jittered as her hands picked at the fabric of the lime green couch.

"Oh. I thought it was kinda understood that you were allowed to sit on my thrift store furniture, Buff." He sat down next to her and put a hand on her knee to stop her leg from bouncing. "What's wrong, Buffy?"

"Nothing, I told you..."

"That's bullshit, Buffy. I know you think I'm stupid, but I can tell when you're upset."

"I don't think you're stupid."

"Thank you. Now what's wrong?" he asked again seriously.

Buffy looked down at his hand on her knee. "I had a dream."

Leaning back, Xander grabbed her hand gently and brought her back with him. "What about?" She shook her head. "You can tell me."

"No, I can't."

"Do you want me to call Giles?" Buffy shook her head again. "What about Willow? It's like six o'clock in Boston. Would you feel more comfortable talking to her?" She shook her head again and Xander sighed.

Buffy, Xander, and Giles were the only members of the Scooby Gang left in Sunnydale. Xander and Buffy had grown closer as friends, but there were still some things that Buffy would rather talk to Willow about. Xander knew that; he understood that.

"So you don't want to talk to Willow or Giles about it and you won't tell me? So, what do you need me to do?" he asked sincerely.

"Xander?"

His eyes focused on her face. Taking in her trembling chin and her watery eyes, he knew what she needed. Xander wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "It'll be okay, Buffy. " He felt her entire body begin to shake and he held her tighter. "It's okay," he whispered as he felt her warm tears splash onto his chest.

"I think I'm going to be killed soon," she said in a weak, tired voice.

"What?" He pulled back, his hands clutching her upper arms. He looked into her eyes. "What?" he repeated.

She nodded, tears running freely down her cheeks. "I have this feeling that I'm going to die soon. I've been having this dream over and over again. It's so real."

"No," Xander said firmly before pulling her back into an embrace. "That's not going to happen," he said with determination. Xander was pleased that he kept his fear from showing in his voice. He knew she would die some day, as all slayers do, but he had never let himself think about it.

"It is," she sobbed as her hands moved around his waist. "I'm going to die and from what I can tell from my dreams, it's going to hurt."

Xander shook his head. "You've faced death before. And you've beaten it. Many times."

The slayer pulled back and looked up at Xander, her eyes wide and full of tears. "Not this time."

To Xander she looked like a frightened child and he figured that was what she was. Buffy had been denied her childhood, first by her parents' fighting and subsequent divorce, then by her sacred duty. A duty she neither asked for nor wanted. "Buffy." He spoke quietly, drawing out her name.

She shook her head. "I can't tell Giles or my mom. I don't want to see the looks on their faces."

"You're not going to die. I won't let you." His hands found hers and tightened. "I didn't let you last time and I won't let you this time."

Buffy sniffled and gave a little smile. She knew that he could not save her from her fate, but he always seemed to make things better. "Thank you."

Xander shook his head. "No need. I'm being selfish, Buffy. I won't let you die because I couldn't take it."

She moved close to him again, this time her face level with his. Her eyes slipped closed and she let her lips brush softly again his, enjoying the feel. Kissing was something she hadn't done in a while. Not since Angel left three years ago. Buffy's tongue darted out and traced his lips.

Xander's lips parted, allowing her probing tongue to invade. He had imagined this moment since he was sixteen and he was amazed at how accurately he predicted it to feel. As his tongue moved against hers, he felt his cock swelling in his boxers. Xander let go of her hands as she moved to straddle him. His hands slid around to the small of her back and pressed her forward.

Buffy clutched his shoulders as her hips rocked against his. When she felt his erection, she felt wetness leak from her. Continuing to kiss him passionately, Buffy moved faster on Xander. She removed her mouth from his for a moment, only long enough to pull her T-shirt over her head.

"Buffy," Xander choked out as he caught sight of her perfectly shaped breasts. He had been planning to say more, but her arms wrapped around his head and pulled his mouth to her left breast.

Gasping as his mouth closed around her nipple, Buffy moaned. She continued to rock on him until the heat and passion within her boiled into a frenzy. She moved off of him, whimpering as the cool air hit the nipple Xander's warm mouth had been suckling. She kicked off her sandals.

Xander watched in awe as the slayer stripped off her pants and slid her blue panties off her legs. Lifting his hips, he pushed down his boxer. He looked back up and saw Buffy lick her lips as her eyes fixed on his cock. She moved to straddle him once more. "Are you sure?"

She answered his question by lowering her mouth to his and impaling herself on his cock. Xander moaned as she slid down onto him, her muscles squeezing. His hands wrapped around her once more as she began to move on him. She started very slowly, just rocking back and forth, but soon, Buffy was lifting up on her knees and slamming back down onto Xander.

They took turn moaning every time Buffy slammed down onto him. Xander dipped his head and captured her breast with is mouth as one hand moved from the small of her back to anus. Using her wetness as lubrication, Xander slipped the finger into her tight opening. His other hand slid back to her stomach before moving down to finger her clit.

Within a few minutes, Buffy's body tensed in orgasm. She cried out unintelligibly. Her fingers clawed at his skin as she pressed herself against him. Soon, her body relaxed and she withdrew her nails from where they were embedded in the flesh Xander's shoulders.

Xander's fingers slipped from her anus and from between her legs as his hands moved to her hips. He moved her up and down his cock as his hips thrust up. It only took her whispering, "Xander," to make him come. He grunted as he thrust up into her one last time, spraying her insides with his warm semen.

He kissed Buffy's shoulder before moving her off of him. Carefully standing up, he looked down at the slayer. Her eyes were closed and her face was relaxed. Xander scooped her up and carried her back into his room, where he laid her down.

Xander slipped in beside her and drew the covers up over them both. Buffy turned over, her arms and legs latching onto him. "I don't want to die," she mumbled against his chest.

Xander's heart broke as he felt the warm tears pool on his chest. The unbreakable Buffy was crying in her sleep because she was afraid to die. His jaw clenched as he made a firm promise to her and to himself. He would not let Buffy die. He could not let her die.

~**~

End

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