Walking down the hall on his way to the library, Xander's heart began to beat faster as he saw Faith, Willow and Cordelia all standing in a line. They stood in front of the library doors, blocking the entrance.
"Um, hi, guys," he greeted the females nervously. "What's the up?"
Faith stepped forward, her hips swaying as if saying 'Hey big guy, look at me, I'm a big skanky ho!'. "Xander," Faith said in a low purr. "I'm all wound up. Want to go back to my place and screw? I'll let you take the post-fucking shower with me this time."
Xander looked at the Slayer, taking in her pouty lips and her low cut, spaghetti strap shirt. "Um, ewww, no thanks."
Faith, like the proper lady she was, gave him the finger and told him where to stick it. Xander rolled his eyes, which caused Faith to huff and puff then turn on her heels and walk off.
Xander's eyes shifted from Willow to Cordelia and then back again. Willow smiled. Stepping forward, Willow's eyes grew large and her lips formed a pout. She hoped that she looked innocent enough. "Hi, Xander. You know, I've been thinking and I'd really like to..." Her voice dropped to a whisper as she stood on her tippy toes and spoke quietly into her oldest friends ear.
Quickly, Xander's face showed disgust and he pushed her away. "Okay, ick. Just ick!" Willow stared back at him with sad, innocent schoolgirl eyes. "Just go find Oz and do that to him 'cause there is no way that you're going to go near that area of my body with any kind of dairy product." Xander pondered quietly for a moment. "And where exactly does the midget fit in?"
Willow opened her mouth to respond, but she was cut off but she was cut off by Xander. "No, never mind. I don't want to know. Just go you pervert!" Willow's eyes overflowed with tears as she turned and ran down the hall.
Xander watched her go then turned back to the remaining girl. "Do you have any idea what that was about?"
Cordelia stepped forward, nodding. "Yeah, for some reason we all got stuck in the broom closet together and bickering ensued and Faith said that she could fuck you again before Willow could even get you hard and then Willow said something stupid and then this whole competition over you started. It's really annoying."
Xander nodded. "I can see where it could be."
"So," Cordelia asked, her eyes running over his body. "How've you been?"
"Uh, well, after that mistake with Willow, I made that mistake with that skanky thing, Faith, and just been screwing up in general."
"Well, hey, at least your good at it."
Xander smiled. "Can I take you talking to me without insulting me as a good sign?"
"Sure." Cordelia drew closer to him, pressing herself against him. "I forgive you, by the way."
"You do?"
"Of course. You just made Willow cry; it was a nice thing to see." She slid her hand down to the bulge in his pants. "So Buffy and Giles aren't in the library. They're actively avoiding Wesley and he's off kissing some serious Watcher's Council ass, so...do you want to go back in the stacks and...I don't know...relive our glory days?"
"Gahhhhhhhh....I mean, Yeah! Will you call me 'Tiger', like you used to?"
"If you play your cards right," she said, smiling sexily. Cordelia took him by the hand and lead him throw the double doors.
THE END (AND AREN'T YOU GLAD?)