"Pillock!" Giles cursed, as he stormed into his office and swept some loose papers off his desk. He ran his fingers through his already unruly hair as he started pacing his office.
"Calm down, Giles."
Giles spun around at the sound of the familiar voice and saw Xander standing passively in his office door.
"Calm down?! Calm down?! How can I calm down? That idiot is going to get her killed!" Giles yelled in frustration. Xander didn't even flinch at the sound of Giles' raised voice. The usually well-mannered librarian had been having these outbursts a lot since he had lost his job as Buffy's Watcher.
Giles dropped down in his chair and leaned back as far as could. He covered his face with his hands, pushing his glasses up on his forehead and letting out an exasperated sigh. "I've really messed things up this time," Giles said, his contemptuous voice muffled by his palm.
Xander closed his eyes briefly, in sympathy before moving further into the office to sit in front of Giles on his recently cleared desk.
"How?" Xander asked. Giles removed his hands from his face and gave the young man a look that said the answer should have been obvious. "You didn't do anything wrong, Giles." Giles sat up in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees, still not convinced. "Do you think you could help loving Buffy? There's no way," Xander stated firmly. He knew from experience.
As her Watcher it was my job to be indifferent. If I had focused more, I....I...could have..." Giles' voice cracked and he quickly turned his face away from Xander. He didn't want the other man to see him cry.
Giles' display of emotion touched Xander's heart. His hand shook slightly, but he reached out to touch the side of Giles' face tenderly. Giles looked back at Xander with a mixture of surprise and gratitude. "Giles, only a fool wouldn't love her."
Tears brimmed in Giles' eyes. "I...I...just don't know what I'd do if I lost her. Or any of you. You're all the only family that I've got," Giles explained before the finally broke free. Xander's hand moved from the side of Giles' face and into his soft hair. Needing the comfort that Xander was offering, Giles leaned forward and rested his head in Xander's lap.
Xander continued to stroke the back of Giles' head, as the older man cried. Xander feeling rather choked up himself, thought that he might start crying also.
Giles lay there for a moment, unable to hold back his emotions any longer. Then he felt Xander start to tense up slightly. Thinking that he might be uncomfortable with the position he was in, Giles pulled away a bit. That's when he saw that a bulge had started to form at the front of Xander's pants. Pulling back even more, Giles looked up into Xander's embarrassed face.
Xander forced a smile to his face. "Strange time for Daisy Fuentes to suddenly pop into my head, huh?" Xander covered nervously.
Giles pulled completely away from the boy. He knew that now was not the best time for Xander to have to face his confusing emotions. He just hoped that the time would come soon.
Xander stood up shakily and flashed another nervous smile. "I should get home or my dad'll kill me," Xander said and headed toward the door. He stopped and turned back to Giles, who was still staring after him. "You gonna be okay?" Xander asked.
"Oh, I'll be fine. Go along. I wouldn't want you to get in any trouble with your parents," Giles said, fighting the urge to take the young man into his arms. Xander nodded and left, leaving Giles' to ponder the events of the night. < Must keep fighting. > Giles reminded himself.
THE END